Self Image

It's another pretty Sunday.  And this one's warm too, so the house its opened up and the cats and I are enjoying the day.  The pictures today are off my friend's new family member.  This is a ball python, piebald in color, no name yet.  He's like the same color as Zoe.  Pretty, isn't he?

Anyway the title of this post is 'self image' because I'm seriously struggling with mine.  I bought a skirt last weekend.  It was a size 6!  And almost too big!  When I started losing weight over a year ago, I was buying size 14 slacks.  So my dilemma is that now have a size 14 mentality in a size 6 body.   I'm still buying clothes that are baggy on me.  Part of that is that I don't really like the skin-tight styles that are all the rage for women right now, but partly it's also because it's been a long time since I looked good in clothes that fit me.  And I'm convinced that there is, somewhere out there, a happy medium between skin tight and baggy.  I just haven't found it yet.  And I think the first step will be to get a better grasp on what size I am now.   

So I'm working on my self image.  I totally now understand how anorexic people can look in the mirror and think that they're fat.  Self image is really powerful.  You don't see yourself as other people see you, or as you really are.  You see what your mind expects to see.  I keep seeing a size 14.  But I'm working on it.  And in the meantime I'm not dieting so seriously any more.  It's all about finding a balance and maintaining where I am now. 

Of course one of the downsides to losing nearly 30 pounds is that NOTHING I own fits me anymore.  Coats, jackets, pajamas, bras, panties, sweats, shorts.  It's all too big.  I've been focusing on replacing my work wardrobe, but I need to be replacing other stuff too.  I don't mind sleeping in pajamas that are too big, but I do mind tripping over them when they fall off in the morning. 

*laughing * I just almost this entire post talking about my weight.  Obsess much?   

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that we get rain this week.  It's been really dry here in the Metroplex.  Moisture has been tending to pass over us and drop farther east.  I'm going to have to start my sprinkler system up really early this year at this rate.  The forecast is for a chance of rain midweek, so I'll hope that comes true.  We haven't had any rain to speak of yet this year, and unless that changes soon, water restrictions are going to be fierce this summer.

That's about it for today.